Books Do Furnish An Apartment

Please don’t say ‘Have you read all these books?’ because then I’d have to kill you, and I don’t have any acid with which to dissolve the corpse in the bathtub. Or a bathtub.

That’s Dame Jessica Zafra, in hypothetical response to someone who, upon seeing the lot of books she keeps in her apartment, remarked, “You have a lot of books.” I, too, have a lot of books, and you, too, should know better than to ask if I’ve read them all. Ask me instead if I, in anticipation of my annual moving-out party (which involves just me and a couple of friends moving my stuff from one apartment to another then going to the nearest store to drink ice cold Coca-Cola) and taking a leaf out of Carljoe Javier’s book, intend to give away some of them. Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.

Below is the list of books I’m giving you permission to purloin, and over here are several photos of a few of them. Help yourself.

  • Achebe, Chinua - Things Fall Apart
  • Amis, Martin - House of Meetings
  • Amis, Martin - Success
  • Asimov, Isaac - I, Robot
  • Atwood, Margaret - The Handmaid’s Tale
  • Ball, Jesse - Samedi the Deafness
  • Bennett, Alan - The Clothes They Stood Up In and The Lady in the Van
  • Boyle, T.C. - The Inner Circle
  • Burroughs, Augusten - Possible Side Effects
  • Burroughs, Augusten - Running With Scissors
  • Card, Orson Scott - Ender’s Game
  • Casagrande, June - Grammar Snobs are Great Big Meanies
  • Cleave, Chris - Incendiary
  • Coe, Jonathan - What a Carve Up!
  • Cohen, Tish - Town House
  • Crichton, Michael - Jurassic Park
  • Davies, Robertson - The Manticore
  • De Bernieres, Louis - Corelli’s Mandolin
  • Drewe, Robert - Ned Kelly
  • Ellis, Bret Easton - Glamorama
  • Ellison, Ralph - Invisible Man
  • Ellroy, James - The Black Dahlia
  • Estrin, Marc - Insect Dreams
  • Faulks, Sebastian - Birdsong
  • Fitzhugh, Louise - Harriet the Spy
  • Fleming, Ian - Casino Royale
  • Goldman, William - The Princess Bride
  • Haig, Matt - The Labrador Pact
  • Harris, Thomas - Red Dragon
  • Harrison, Harry - Planet of the Damned
  • Hawke, Ethan - The Hottest State
  • Heinlein, Robert - Stranger in a Strange Land
  • Herbert, Frank - Dune
  • Irving, John - A Prayer for Owen Meany
  • Johnson, Dennis - Tree of Smoke
  • July, Miranda - No one belongs here more than you
  • Keneally, Thomas - Schindler’s List
  • Kerouac, Jack - Dr. Sax
  • King, Stephen - Misery
  • Kirn, Walter - Thumbsucker
  • Knisley, Lucy - French Milk
  • LeGuin, Ursula K. - The Left Hand of Darkness
  • Lehane, Dennis - Mystic River
  • Leonard, Elmore - Out of Sight
  • Levin, Ira - The Stepford Wives
  • Listi, Brad - Attention. Deficit. Disorder.
  • Lowry, Lois - The Giver
  • Marx, Groucho - Groucho & Me
  • Maupin, Armistead - The Night Listener
  • McDonell, Nick - Twelve
  • Miller, Arthur - Death of a Salesman
  • Miller, Walter M. - A Canticle for Leibowitz
  • Mistry, Rohinton - A Fine Balance
  • Moody, Rick - The Omega Force
  • Mulligan, Andy - Ribblestrop
  • Pickett, Rex - Sideways
  • Pirsig, Robert M. - Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
  • Proulx, Annie - Brokeback Mountain
  • Pynchon, Thomas - V.
  • Rawlings, Marjorie Kinnan - The Yearling
  • Roth, Philip - Deception
  • Roth, Philip - The Plot Against America
  • Roy, Arundhati - The God of Small Things
  • Savan, Leslie - Slam Dunks and No-Brainers
  • Schlosser, Eric - Fast Food Nation
  • Shaffer, Peter - Equus
  • Siegel, Lee - Love and Other Games of Chance
  • Smith, Zadie - On Beauty
  • Spiotta, Dana - Lightning Field
  • Swarup, Vikas - Slumdog Millionaire
  • Swofford, Anthony - Jarhead
  • Tarkington, Booth - The Magnificent Ambersons
  • Tel, Jonathan - Freud’s Alphabet
  • Thackeray, William Makepeace - Vanity Fair
  • Toltz, Steve - A Fraction of the Whole
  • Toole, F.X. - Million Dollar Baby
  • Turrow, Scott - Presumed Innocent
  • Walter, Jess - Land of the Blind
  • Walter, Jess - The Zero
  • Watson, Mark - Bullet Points
  • Williams, Tennesee - A Streetcar Named Desire
  • Wolfe, Tom - The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test
  • Wolff, Tobias - This Boy’s Life
  • Wright, Richard - Native Son
  • Young, Toby - How to Lose Friends and Alienate People

To reserve a book or two or eight, simply leave a comment on this post, tell me via non-anonymous Tumblr Ask, tweet me on Twitter, message me on Facebook, e-mail me, text me, or just tap my shoulder and talk to me in person, and we’ll take it from there. 


Strickentrough items are already reserved.

23 notes

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  1. distantheartbeats said: We need to talk about why some of these are being given away and not being clutched to your chest!
  2. eft said: Harriet the spy, the princess bride and the electric kool-aid acid test plis!
  3. superfriend said: Glamorama, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People and Death of a Salesman, please! :D
  4. kojibberish said: OMG May I please have The Stepford Wives?
  5. reinventthesea said: Both Burroughs please? :D
  6. velvetrobots said: I’d love to take Smith’s On Beauty off your hands, if you’re so inclined.
  7. chudessny said: Miranda July, Jack Kerouac, and Zadie Smith, plzzzz!
  8. aldrin posted this

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